The "Man" Exists In India

As I logged in to create this post, I realized it's been a while since I blogged last. I guess that means we are finally settling in here. We have something that resembles a routine, and most days pass without major issues. To keep us rooted in our western ways, we order Subway at least once a week; sometimes more. Compared to other options, they are fast, cheap and reasonably healthy. The guys usually show up in 15-20 minutes (like clockwork), so we tend to use the 'keep the change' methodology of tipping. Our rational is the guys do a good job of holding up on their end of the bargain, so it's a good excuse for us to be generous and give to India in a way that doesn't end up in the pockets of those who already have plenty?

Apparently, this has caused problems at our local Subway. We ordered lunch today, and new face appeared at the door. Today was a 15 minute day. I open the door to great him, but something out of the ordinary happened. Instead of giving me the total and handing me our lunch, the delivery guy introduces himself as "Srinivas, the manager of Subway Gachibowli", and extends his hand. Suddenly, the green and white checkered shirt made sense.

Srinivas proceeds to tell me that when his guys come, we take the food and the receipt, give them the money and say 'keep the change'. I confirmed this is what usually happens. This is an indirect and non-confrontational (read: typical Indian) way of saying we are over tipping. He goes on to say that his guys are fighting with each other to determine who gets our delivery. Being a fixer, I suggested that he have the guys take turns. That seems reasonable, right?

His solution to the problem was that we reduce our tip amount by 80-90% of what we normally give. Instead of helping out a group of guys who are working to earn an honest living, we were basically asked to scale things back stick to the status quo.

I was pretty amused by the whole thing. I haven't decided what to the next time we order Subway. Do we continue to fund the Subway Fight Club, or do we help an ineffective manager keep control of his team by tipping more appropriately?

The takeaway for this one is no matter where you go, The Man will be there to keep the people below him down. Sigh...

I hope things are more boring or normal where ever you are.

Be well,

-TJS

Everybody Loves Raymond

I'm sure everyone has seen or heard of the show Everybody Loves Raymond. If not, it's the show where Ray(mond), the lead character exercises really poor judgment and finds himself in bad situations. He is usually in trouble with his wife or someone in his family.

Anyway, I've never really been a fan of the show, because I find his actions or lack of thought very frustrating. This usually overshadows any of the things that some people find funny. That's pretty sad for someone who loves to laugh.

As I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond this morning, I found myself laughing hysterically. I thought for a second that it might be because I was in a really good mood. I flashed back to my 2 mile run on the treadmill earlier, and quickly ruled that out.

Then it hit me. After being here for 4+ months and asking myself at least 5 times a day "Why would they do this that way??", I've become slightly more tolerant or at least willing to ignore things that don't make any sense at all. So now, I can watch the show, and overlook the fact that Raymond is a complete idiot who makes really bad choices. I am now able to watch and laugh at the insanity that is his life and family.

Sometimes you have to step away from the trees to see the forest. Have a great day and enjoy the little things.

Be good,

-TJS

Vacation Time

I was looking at my calendar the other day, and I realized I crossed the 4 month mark this past week. In some ways, it doesn't feel like that much time has passed. In other ways, it feels like I've been here for a year.

This week has been exceptionally long. It has crawled along at a pace that could only mean one thing--it's time for vacation! The carrot at the end of the stick that is this week is a weekend in Kuala Lumpur and a week in Bali. For us, Kuala Lumpur is a mandatory stop on the way to Bali. We decided to stretch the lay over out and extra day or so.

We have done quite a bit of traveling the past few months, but it's been a long time we had a week to unplug and relax. That's actually a large part of the reason we chose Bali (that and the fact that we've wanted to visit there for a long time). This will also be our first trip out of India, where we aren't planning to come back into India with two duffel bags full of things we can't get in India. Don't worry. We are still taking the duffel bags. :-)

The only thing that would improve on this sunny vacation would be to see some familiar faces. We miss you all and wish you were here to join us.

Be good,

-TJS

Sometimes It's The Little or Small Things

If you ever find yourself moving halfway around the world under the pretense that most of the people there will speak English, keep one thing in mind. There are many different interpretations of the English language.

After about six hundred trips to Subway, which resulted in sandwiches containing lots of everything I asked for (and sometimes things I didn't want), I had a major break through.

The catalyst was a conversation we had in the car with our driver for the day. He was telling us he'd had a good time a couple of days earlier with a group of friends. "Yes, we had a good time." he said. "We had some drinks and made small jokes and told small stories."

I didn't think much of it, because that's how he always talks. It wasn't until a few hours later, when we were standing in line at Subway, that I had a moment of clarity. Up to that point, I'd been trying (in vain) to get the Subway guy to understand my English. "Can I get a little bit of this and a little of that?" And every time I would watch the guy make three passes with the mayo shooter.

This time, I thought I would try to use his English. With the most serious and strait face I could make, I placed my order. "Can I get a foot long turkey on wheat with small lettuce, small tomatoes, small pickles and small mayo, please?" What happened next changed my life.

The Subway guy opens the bread and places the turkey and cheese on it. Then, with the precision of a heart surgeon, he places a small amount of lettuce on top. Next, it was six small tomato slices and 8 pickle slices. I turn to Hillary with a look of awe and delight. I struggled to suppress my smile. He reaches for the mayo and pauses to choose his line. In a deliberate and focused stroke, he applies one thin strip of mayo. Perfection!! Just the way I wanted.

As much as I hate to say it, sometimes you have to be willing to bend to get what you want. From that day on, we've used the word small when ordering from Subway. When in Rome...

Be good,

-TJS

India (De)Construction

As some of you know, Hillary and I have run into a handful of issues related to being the first occupants of our house. Basically, the concept of weather proofing and keeping the elements out didn't seem to make it over. When I say elements, I mean all but fire. That would include earth, wind and water...lots of water.

Don't worry. It's nothing a few weekend projects and a gallon of silicone can't fix.

The one that just blew my mind actually started as a small area of peeling paint near one of the air conditioner units. Over time, it grew into a pretty obvious water spot. It was clear something was leaking into the wall.

After a week or more of begging, pleading, yelling and finally threatening (not to pay rent), we were able to get a plumber, a random guy and the guy whose job is to make holes in the wall over. Prepare to be amazed.





Apparently, if you are sawing into a wall and you slice into a drainage pipe -TWICE- you just keep going and concrete and plaster over it. No one will ever realize the air conditioner is draining into the wall; at least not until somebody moves into the house during 100 degree heat and uses the air conditioner.

It's fixed now, so I can actually laugh about it. I hope you are also able to find the humor in this.

Be good,

-TJS

Singapore!

Two weeks ago we took a trip to Singapore and it was fantastic! It is a new nation with people from several different cultures, so there is not a predominate feel of a specific culture (like most major cities). I had been to Singapore once before, but this was T.J.’s first time. It was exactly what we needed to have a reprieve for some of the frustrations we have battled over the last 4 months. We spent our 3 days in Singapore riding Hippo Tours, shopping, and drinking wine on the banks of the Singapore River in Clarke Quay. We left feeling like we needed more time in Singapore considering we did not even get to Orchard Road for shopping when we ran out of capacity in our suitcases!

We stayed at the Novotel in Clarke Quay to be close to the night life, but I would not recommend the Novotel. We probably got what we paid for, but it had an older, 3-Star, no pizzazz feel, which was a contrast to the new Novotel in Hyderabad where I lived last fall. The Swissotel across the river looked nicer from the sidewalk and they were all in the same price range.

We will definitely be going back to Singapore!

Pad Thai in Thailand!

I am officially done with my work week and shifting into weekend/vacation mode. We are on a flight to Phuket in a few hours. All I can think about now is sandy beaches and pad thai...not at the same time, of course. That wouldn't be good at all.

Despite all the development and tourism, Phuket is supposed to be one of the more scenic places in Thailand. We will put that statement to the test, and let everyone know if we agree.

In the meantime, we hope everyone has a fun and safe Memorial Day weekend.

Be good,

-TJS

Mumbai for the Weekend

We are up at what feels like the beginning of time and on our way to the airport for Mumbai. It's Hillary's second trip and my first. Having only seen Slumdog Millionaire, I'm very curious to see how one of the more developed Indian cities looks and feels up close. We're flying on Kingfisher airlines, and we'll be back in Hyderabad late Sunday night. Wish us safe travels.

Be good,

-TJS

Yes Really Means "I Don't Know But I Will Say Yes Because I Think It Is What You Want To Hear"

It's been just over three weeks since my arrival in Hyderabad. In some ways, it feels like a few months have passed, but when I look over at the couple of boxes that still need to be unpacked, I'm reminded of the fact that I really just got here.

Between the work schedule, the shopping for home furnishings, the social life and a flakey internet connection, I've managed to go three weeks without updating the blog. A lot has happened, but I'll try to stick to the highlights (or low-lights). We're alive and well, and we are adjusting rather quickly to a place that is very different from home.

I think one of the more valuable lessons we've learned so far is that being an educated consumer is not a luxury but a requirement here. If you don't know exactly what you want, you won't get it; at least not on the first try. When you ask a question like, "Will this DVD player play US DVD's?", the response you get 9 out of 10 times is, "Yes". It doesn't matter if this is really the case or not. This problem is compounded with the fact that there is a zero return policy. Once the sale is made, it is pretty much impossible to undo it and get your money back. If you are lucky, you can exchange what you have for what you really needed. Even this requires you to first be unpleasant enough to make the person you are dealing with uncomfortable enough to want to help you, just so you will stop harassing them.

On a more positive note, I now know that it is possible for two guys to deliver a water dispenser and a 32" flat panel TV on a motorcycle. Yes, that's one motorcycle. What's even more amazing is that both devices worked when we plugged them in!!

I hope things are going well for everyone back in the states. I'll blog again soon, but until then, have a great week.

Be good,

-TJS

Things are progressing in a positive direction for us here in Hyderabad. T.J. arrived safely last night (finally!). Mattresses were delivered on Thursday (only a week after they were originally promised) and our car was delivered on Wednesday. We found a driver who starts Monday (the first one I interviewed didn't speak English, so we scrambled to find a new person mid week). We have couple of water leaks in our house, but we are working to get them resolved. Our microwave/oven was not delivered, but we will try to sort that out today. Now we just have to wait on our furniture to be delivered (couches, dining room table, and beds) and buy our TV(s). We have all of the keys to our house, which makes it feel more like home...now I just have to figure out how to clean it since I underestimated the amount of dust we would have to deal with out here in Gachibowli (if I googled it, it would probably mean dust bowl in Hindi).

All this to say things are good here...well minus the trip to the dentist I am going to have to make today. I noticed I had a cracked tooth, so I am going to try to get it fixed before it becomes a real problem. I am only nervous because, generally speaking, sanitation standards are not the same here as we are used to in the U.S....the quality of medical care is good though. I will ask T.J. to update our blog to let you know if I don't survive for some reason. Have a great day!

Lots of Love!

-H

Settling In-dia

I am desperate for things to go well today with our settling in process in India. We have a laundry list of things to get done today (not limited to getting our car, securing a driver to drive the car, picking up an oven, ordering a TV, collecting the rest of the keys for our new place, sending my passport off to collect our air shipment, getting mattresses delivered, etc.)...not to mention actually getting some work done for my day job. As promised, moving to India has been a frustrating experience. Some things they do better, and some things they don't do well at all here...for the good example: many places have escalators that will not turn on until someone is approaching, which keeps it from running wastefully all day...for the not good example: managing customer expectations. It seems the retail culture here is to provide every customer the instant gratification of the words “yes, that is possible” regardless of the actual level of impossibility. You are met with one empty promise after another and it seems many times you have to get very serious/mean before people follow through on such promises. Speaking very generally, it seems they have not yet realized that if they gave an honest answer on when things will be delivered/installed and what is actually available (rather than what they think the customer wants to hear) they would avoid the unhappy customer scenario all together...which is supposed to be the goal, isn't it? Despite my best efforts, I have been forced to waste large amounts of time waiting around for deliveries that were never really going to happen and events that were never really going to occur. I have been working with a relocation team, but again, it seems they weren't serious about getting things done until they realized I am not really that nice, especially when my time and money is at stake.

Let me be clear here, I have been misled by many U.S. retailers in my life, but at least in the U.S. I am comfortable with my recourse options. In India when the going gets tough the person on the other end of the phone line usually only really speaks Hindi, not American English. So I have to rely on others to get things straightened out for me...which creates a desperate and sort of hopeless feeling. It is a difficult transition to go from a super independent New York working girl to a super dependent Expat in India. I am approaching week 3 of our adventure, I have been told it takes about 2 months to get settled...as you have already figured out, I have 5 more weeks of frustrating days. Even still, I am confident I will triumph and will emerge on the other end better equipped to take on this 2 year adventure. At a minimum T.J. will be here by the end of the week, so I will be able to leverage off of his schedule to sort out some of our chaos. I was able to take a break from it all to celebrate a birthday and spend time with some friends in Goa this weekend. I just went for a night, but it was great to get away.



We do at least have a place to live, even if we do not have a single piece of furniture. Our place:

One upside to not living in New York is actually having some extra living space!! I will work on fixing the furniture problem today!

Lots of Love!
-H

En Route

Thanks to the wisdom of my mom and several other influences, my head is filled with old adages that, when aptly applied, really can make life easier. Sayings like "a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush", or "a stitch in time saves nine". The one that has been lingering in my mind for the past couple of weeks is "don't count your chickens, before your eggs hatch". This seems to apply mostly to matters of finance, but in my case, it applies to my employment visa.

I've spent the past several weeks jumping through hoops, waiting, and jumping through more hoops. Apparently volunteering (out of the blue) to go work in India doesn't necessarily mean an easy transition. There are a lot of moving parts and hand-offs that, from my perspective, could go awry and grind the process to a screeching halt. At some point, I was certain they were sending me to a remote village in China to teach German and finance to a group of 6 year olds, in hopes of building brand recognition for UBS.

Keeping the old chicken adage in mind, I've refrained from fully committing to being excited about the fact that I will be boarding a flight in three days and embarking on a journey that will surely impact Hillary and me in ways we have yet to even contemplate.

As I was leaving my farewell celebration Friday evening (full of calamari and potato skins), I received a message from a 1-800 number. I hit play, expecting to delete it after listening for 2 seconds, but I quickly realized who it was from. It was an automated message from FedEx providing a tracking number and a delivery date for...you guessed...my passport and visa!!

If you are thinking there are still a few things that could go wrong, you should stop reading now, go wash your mouth out with soap (since you can't wash your brain out), then start thinking about happy things like puppies or kittens.

If that doesn't put you in the right frame of mind, there isn't much I can do for you.

The bottom line is my paperwork is en route, and in a few days, I will be en route, too. Stay tuned, for the next installment of our big adventure.

India or Bust!

As I sit here in a nearly empty apartment, where all that remains is the patio furniture, two very large duffle bags and an inflatable mattress, I can’t help but think our little adventure has begun. The reality is our adventure began several months ago.

Hillary was nearing the end of her first three month assignment in Hyderabad. We were on the phone one night (morning for her), and she asked the question, “How would feel about moving to India for two years?” My reaction was about what you might expect. I said, “Of course wife…anything to be where you are.” Actually, I immediately started thinking about the logistics of the idea, and I’m sure my response more closely resembled a primitive grunt than an expression of my lack of excitement. We didn’t talk about it anymore that night, but the seed had been planted.

I’ll spare you the gory details, but I will say that one of our strengths as a couple is our ability to convince each other to do just about anything, as long we get to do it together, and the pros at least marginally outweigh the cons. In this particular case, we feel like the benefits will be significantly greater than the challenges.

Fast-forward to Saturday afternoon; two weeks ago. As we are scampering through Target and asking one another if we should get a second cart (deciding not to, even as things continue to jump out of the one we have), the magnitude of what we were about to do started to sink in a little more. Hillary was due to fly out Monday, but very little had been done in the way of preparing. Maybe that’s why it hadn’t really sunk in, yet. All but a few of the next 48 hours or so were spent preparing for Hillary’s departure. The break was spent attending a farewell dinner hosted by Lynda (one of Hillary's Directors) and her husband Mario. The authentic Italian cuisine was excellent and abundant, and gesture was greatly appreciated.

By late Sunday, the first of what would be 6-10 inches of snow had started to drift in. Being a kid from Texas, I still get excited when the snow falls and starts to coat the ground. This time, my excitement was tempered with concerns for what it would mean for a Monday evening flight. We forged ahead with operation India or Bust! and checked the flight status over and over and over… and over again. It still showed up as "on schedule", but we both knew better.

At some point, an exhausted Hillary looks in my direction and asks if this was some sort of an omen. I wasn’t sure how respond then, but I think I know now. Not even the heaviest snow fall New York has gotten all year could stop what had been set into motion. The flight was airborne a mere 25 minutes behind schedule, which for Newark means it was on time. There was no question about it. We were going to India.

And so begin The Adventures of Hillary and T.J.

We will do our best to update this blog regularly, as things continue to develop. We hope you enjoy following along.

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